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Steven Moore got the big prize... He
was the final winner of our forecasting competition. Emotion until
the end but he manage to beat strong motivated players like Willie
or Sergey. Congratulations Steven. well,
you will know it if you show up next Thursday (15.7) at
5.30 p.m. in the OBS first floor kitchen. Pls bring
some Food and/or Drinks and let's make a small party!!! What took so long
to the Fun Unit to produce the last Edition of the Secretariat Gazette? The writer
got a first serious shock at the Popes’ victory against the frogs and had
to cry with editor/publisher as they reiterated with cheek against the bacalãos
(for the awful second time) in the final. The rivers of tears have flooded the
corridors of the FU, and even the cheerfulness of some rosbifs and other BCSF
members haven’t helped drying the carpets out. Not to mention the fact that
our webbacalão was still in the recovery ward of the FU nursery yesterday,
surrounded by devilish creatures wearing mini blouses and a stethoscope around
the neck. The latter understood that the problem was in fact due to depression
and undertook some foot therapy to help the poor bacalão out of sorrow.
One of our reporters went there to interview him, and the bacalão declared: “Portugal Lost, BUAAAAAAA!!! It was a lousy final, a lousy game, and Portugal couldn't pass through that ultra-defensive tzazikis! Yes, the "catenaccio" is back and it won the Euro 2004. I am so sad because Portugal lost in such a strange way: if any Football had been played, we are sure we would have won, anyway... The only bit of fun I got was that bloke…”
Still, courage in one hand and pen in the other, here we are again. To tell you that the unexpected Moussakas have made it and that a whole country has been celebrating for days on the Pantheon, where, come on, it hurts, but let’s admit it, the FU would have liked to be!!! But the lack of funds provided by the Gazette (we should have sold it, shouldn’t we? Blimey, we have been too good to you all!) didn’t allow reporters to go and celebrate with Ouzo. Ronaldo’s tears while still marching the grass of the glorious (play)grounds and his trembling lips seduced the audience, though. The FU would have loved giving him a lolly-pop. We leave this message to the Greeks (a fair-play gesture from the FU): The FU would like to thank Paulo, our dear webbacalão, for having the good idea to organize this contest and giving so much of his time to update our scores and publish them regularly. It was really enjoyable as it brought us all together (or apart - Some Goudas won’t ever drink any Port wine ever in their lives, not to mention the Spaghettis and the smørebrøds!) and helped us keeping a smile during SB 20! Paulo, OBRIGADO + let’s do it again in 2 years…! The FU would also like to thank all the participants (no DSA allowed, though J) in the forecasting and in making it such a funny and lively event, which contaminated the office with good mood. It was fantastic to discover some colleagues on a more personal side. The winner of our forecasting will be named (and paid) next Wednesday in a get?together in Limão (Bad Godesberg) at 7.30pm... See you all there!!! Your Gazette team. ________________________________________________________ Day 17- 2/7
In the meantime,
the Goudas cried out their orange juice (watch out, though, it is both sour and
bitter :-D) and are going back to their oblivion-land, lost in the smokes of the
coffee-shops and close to mushroom fields. The Fun Unit might as well show up
there for an interview of the players, led by Carl, whose bitterness also needs
soothing... About our Forecasting...i need to say that there are big changes in our scoring list, Steven Moore is our new table leader and that in the day that he returns to the office...Welcome Steven!!!! Willie the Gouda eater is now in second place tied with Sergey...You can see the updated table in the usual place! GANHAMOS!!! GANHAMOS!!! GANHAMOS!!! GANHAMOS!!! GANHAMOS!!! GANHAMOS!!! GANHAMOS!!! GANHAMOS!! VIVA PORTUGAL!!!! the very happy webmaster ;-)) Oranje ... what oranje? it was a conspiracy! i didnt see the oranjens play, it was some guys in white, maybe it was england ...or france .... or italy (but without the golden lettering). sauerkraut-breath-alex its your fault, you said they looked like ballet dancers in orange so they stopped wearing that beautiful outfit that makes them blind the other team and play better. or no its paulo's fault - he conspired with the portuguese to pour port wine over the gouda cheese supply that the oranjens had brought from netherlands ..... puns aside, no conspiracy, no foul play, just disgusting football from those guys from the canals. 3 stunning goals by portugal (stop smiling webacalo), running circles around the dutch - but i can explain that ...... they were wearing those heavy wooden slippers netherlands is famous fo, thats why they couldnt dribble, run or kick at goal. portugal even had to score a goal for them so that they dont ban portuguese from visiting the "coffee shops" and red light district in amsterdam. congratulations paulo, i admit, portugal looks good, they could win the cup. lets see what happens tonight. willie (no killbill,
no donOtieno, no nothing .... just a good sport). Day 16- 28/6 The Fun Unit has detached some fun-staff to the logistics for the weekend! Indeed, considering
the number of European teams sent back home, more FS was needed to organize the
charters back home than to actually write despaired articles. To begin with, Les
Grenouilles have disappointed their country by their solemn decision not to care
this year about football and spent their days on the beach and devilish nights
in the bars of Lisboa. As a result, the tzazikis performed the best performance
of their lives (too used to beach and Ouzo to care about Bacalão-land).
Au revoir, donc, les p'tits frenchies, les camemberts, les grenouilles retour
vers la baguette et le bon vin (that considerably lacks in Portugal, by the way
-the Fun Unit wonders if it's not what motivated them to lose ;-) ). Semi finals promise to be good, though. Bacalãos will meet Goudas and Tzatsikis meet Goulash! Weird and tasty! Excellent (No... Really, ze frenche couldn'te possibly joine zat clube of culinary waste! Surprising for the Rozbifs, though). Have fun!! Day 11- 22/6
They
sweated until the end, they ran, they played, they kicked, they
spat, they fought, they wanted it, they scored, they won, and they
celebrated… For 5 minutes. The desperate Macchiatos had to
face it; the Scandinavian Scandalous Scheme (SSS) threw them out!
The Vikings needed a 2-2 draw, and played Siamese brothers by achieving
the evil twin score. Italy is out of the UEFA (Union of Efficient
Footballers Actually) in an “espresso” way! The Fun
Unit of the Gazette is flabbergasted at the Scandinavian scam but
somehow happy to see medium, lukewarm, ultra-defensive, non-spectacular,
lethargic “calcio” (=kicking of the ball, can’t
really call it football, can we?) clear the way on the Portuguese
grass! The Italians remain with the “Porca Miseria - Madre
de Dios” feeling while all others shout merrily “Arrivederci”!
PLEASE NOTICE HOW THE SWEDISH PEOPLE (INCLUDING THE BIGGEST NEWSPAPER OF SWEDEN) ) ARE PLANNING ALREADY TO STEAL THE RESULT TO THE HONEST ITALIAN TEAM BY MAKING UP THE RESULT WITH THE OTHER FELLOW VIKINGS (WITH HORNS) FROM DENMARK. IF TOMORROW THE PREDICTIONS ARE CONFIRMED THE SECRETARIAT WILL HAVE ONE STAFF MEMBER LESS.....GUESS WHO? Daniele
Here
is the most recent photo from Don Otieno, Pls avoid any contact,
specially if, as expected, the Netherlands go home earlier!!!
The person in question is armed and is dangerous!! A Dramatic
provocation to our beloved WEBMASTER leads to a dramatic change
in our Score table. Willie uncontested leader of our competition
fell down to the last position due to a dancing hacker attack, please
if you see him, contact our site immediatly (Photo below)! Here's what Paulo's mood was like until last night .... (Don
Otieno declarations) Incredible but true, Becky didn’t have to take out his Tempo/Kleenex or whatever the Sissi is selling at the moment, as the Brownies inflicted an astonishing defeat to the Croatians by scoring 4 goals (taking two in to keep the audience in great suspense). Never had we heard so much of our favourite rosbif who got out of his London training room to rush to the Pub and flow la Grenouille and the webbacalão with yeks and gnarfs. Be prepared for his comeback on Thursday with war paintings in his face (refer to the Queen picture on this page). Next stage: Bacalãos against rosbifs, J a protein fight! 21/6 les Grenouilles au chocolat! “YUMMI!!!”
yelled our webbacalão although he had previously sworn to
get into the very close circle of “gourmets” founded
by the Grenouilles. The game finally appeared to be a froggy one
as the chocos, in spite of a fierce fight, melted miserably in the
depths of cocoa, facing a 3-1 final result. Day 9- 20/6 Spain rhymes with Pain Portugal
is positively determined to be ridiculed by the French in the Final.
They gave a dazzling evidence of it by giving the Tapas-eaters a
1-0 blow. Exit the Spaniards. Fortunately, the way back home is
not a very long one, they could even jogg there and thus use the
opportunity for a little more training. Oleeeé!!!!…and
Bye Bye 20/6
The Vodka Boys Italians Stuned with Nordic Art! Go Sweden!
But
Carl would be mistaken for an angel compared to Mr. Totti ze spaghetti
whose courtesy is to Denmark what Leonardo Di Caprio is to acting.
The bad manners of Italy have cost the team to loose its famous
rebel for 3 matches. Note that the team played well against Sweden
and that
‘Les Rosbifs sont Magnifiques…comme d’habitude’ Alain de Fromage (qui est sur le pont d’Avignon) Translated from L’Equipe (sans les accents, malhereusement): (Translator’s note: despite my best efforts I could find no mention whatsoever in the French press of the France v Croatia game…strange. For the record the French stumbled to a 2-2 draw…quel domage!) The European football world sat up and took noticed last night as England cruised into top gear beating the Swiss 3-0. After their shock and undeserved defeat against a very lucky French side on Sunday, it was a fine return to form for the skilful and popular English. Even here in France, ‘Le Revolution d’Anglais’ is underway. Georges Franglais commented, ‘ On doit admit it – Les Rosbifs sont great. Ils sont donne us beaucoup de notre language – le weekend, le taxi, le camping, le sandwich and, naturellement, le football. Aussi, touts les cooks mellieux dans le monde sont Anglais ces jours! Maintenaint, after un balbutiement, il sont le best equipe en Football as well as rugby!! (zut alors, un autre mot Anglais!).’ ‘Sacre blue!’ il a dit in admiration, ‘Je penserais that nous sommes tres, tres lucky to have les Anglais as neighbours over le Channel Anglais. Mon Dieu, ils sont aussi lovers fantastique – ils peuvent do anything! Truly, les lions se sont enleves!’ From the UNFCCC Times: Over the past 24 hours there has been a dramatic shift in support toward the English football team according the the Secretariat’s football competition coordinator, Paulo Figueiredo. Paulo commented, ‘Yes. It’s truly amazing! The Italians are upset about their team’s complaints about their ‘rough socks’ and ‘nasty aftershave’ and are joining Germans who are fed up with their team’s dour and dull performances in trying to switch allegiance to the stylish and flair-filled English team. I am inundated with requests to change predictions for the championship winners. Everybody wanted to turn to England. I myself, as a Portuguese, am sick of my team of Brazilian rejects and would also change if the rules permitted it. Unfortunately for everybody (except the English!) they do not!’ Help,
however, is at hand in the form of your friendly and approachable
HR Chief, Carl Rogerson, (unless of course you want a pay rise,
better terms of employment, a promotion or an increase in entitlements
in which case the answer is, naturally, ‘Nien!’). Carl
has promised to distribute the address of the British consulate
in Dusseldorf where applications can be made to gain English nationality
in time for the 2006 World Cup for which England are, of course,
hot favourites. Naturally, applicants will be required to show traditional
English skills such as queuing, saying sorry for no reason, appearing
aloof, drinking copious amounts of cheap beer and rampaging through
foreign streets smashing anything in their way. C’est facile
17 June, Judgment Day A wind of corruption blowing on the maritim: Besides the fact that our webbacalão has
understated in an email (readable in the Gazette under today's date)
that he would either manage to make us swallow the big fish of a
virus attack against his website -only, of course, other webmasters
are more careful :-) - in order to manipulate the results in his
favour, the distasteful turncoat left us with the idea that 200
euros may be enough to fly to Bora-Bora. To be remembered on this peculiar day too (published also by our dear Webfreak), the memorable conversation between Harald and Ulie, in which the first admits to the second being beyond standard deviation... Last but not least: A demain for more bacalãonews!(JEA,UNFCCC Gazette, FU) Players unsatisfied
or... Harald:
'Es gibt sehr wenige (Mitspieler) uebehalb von 12 Punkten - ein
Grossteil der Leute liegt zwischen 3 und 11 Punkten. - Einwand UKR
(Ulrike Kranz-Roos): Ja, aber du liegst bei 2 Punkten...." RUSSIAN VIRUS ATTACKS FORECASTING WEBSITE Please note that if you try to change the scores or your forecast now, it will not work. A new Russian-designed virus was placed on Paulo's Website a couple of days ago and it controls all scores etc (except for one participant, but you do not need to know the details). With
best wishes for all of you P.S. Willy, as long as I am on the top of the list (and, as indicated above, this will surely continue), I will have to politely decline any invitations from you to go with you to remote places). S.K. (SK,UNFCCC Gazette, FU) --- Besides being the webmaster, the bacalaõ (by the way, the word is wrong but i will leave the Portuguese lessons for later), I'm also a fellow player, that at the moment is pretty down ranked in our competition table, but i must assure you that soon you will have some Portuguese power to deal , like i said before I'm the webmaster and one way or another i will win this competition (no this is not a threat).... even if the other fellow players vanish (virus action for sure) from the page dedicated to this Euro2004 Forecast :-)), did i mention that the contribution is not refundable? Regards (The
WebMaster,UNFCCC
Gazette, FU) Ladies and Gentlement of the Board ...... My name is Bill. "I Did Not Have Fights With That Woman, Ms. Curtinsky ....." The
press is at it again. That foul gazette is trying to get me thrown
out of the competition by spinning and distorting what I said to
the two persons. Ask Saier Alex Ferguson to testify before you and
he will attest that I simply offered him a cup of tea for gaining
the lead (for one day ....ha!). But as you can see, the threat worked
...ooops, uuuuum they have voluntarily stepped down and made things
worse because now I have to deal with a Russian know as Sergey!
In the spirit of the BCSF, to show how positive I am, I shall invite
him for a beer along the Rhine. If by some good luck he falls into
the Rhine, please don't blame it on me, how positive can one be! Although
Germany was expected to be abysmally lousy, it was to the amazement
of all and for the greatest pleasure of Ms. Ina, Sascha, Ulie and
Claudio that a boring DRAW took place. The usual trend of UEFA matches
affecting the mood of UNFCCC staff members didn't prove right this
time. Indeed, a serious war was going on today between Willie-the-foul
and Ms. Thérèse, just not as entertaining as "Les
Rosbifs et les Grenouilles ou la Saga de Carl l'innocent",
though. Gentleman Willie offered to break Thérèse
and Alex 's bones if they didn't withdraw from the competition.
If they do, they'll be invited for a grandiose cup of coffee in
the cafeteria. How lovely. Willie-the-Great proved once again he
knew how to deal with women and football (yeah. Brits dare mixing
concepts such as "Champagne" and "English".
Boundaries have been broken ever since. We can also consider concepts
such as "Germany" and "jolly fellows", or "French"
and "humble"). For more information or recent developments,
please refer to: http://www.paulo-f.com/Index2.htm. UNFCCC ONLINE THREATS See, I was leading yesterday until Germany came out of the woodworks all well oiled and so efficient (at least the first half) as if they have been getting new navigation systems, servo-lenkungs, airbags, extended-elbows, DSC, etc etc at the Bavaria MotorWerks in Munich. So here's the deal. You both need to claim that you have some sort of stomach bug or footbalitis or a heart condition or whatever and that you would like to pull out of this betting thing as there are other finer things to do in life ...... (like just watch the football instead of watching your back). I then regain my chance at the top and you, won't be wondering a few weeks from now (if you dont pull out) why you have so many broken bones in your body (no this is not a threat, please, dont get me wrong, just looking out for you :-)) The good thing is, I could buy y'all a cup of coffee when this is all over and we can have a good laugh about everything. Don Paulo, as you can see, they both already agree before they even read this email so post the new standing accordingly, i.e, without the two mentioned members ahem ahem. Don Otieno(UNFCCC Gazette, FU) ____________________________________________________________________________ UNFCCC Drama Carl Rogerson, Chief of HR, had a hard time containing his tears when back at work, on Monday 14th June. The sarcasms of many of his witty and victorious colleagues made his morning dark and contributed to his gloomy mood. Nevertheless, the bright Brit came back onto the scene of jolly fellows later at night and proved his fair-play by finally joining the Board of Cheerful Supporters of France (BCSF). He was heartily welcomed especially when he promised to bring a MAGNUM of Laurent Perrier brut rosé to celebrate the extraordinary performance of the famous World Champions. (EK,UNFCCC Gazette, FU) To be fair to Carl he did apologise profusely because he was unable to bring any English champagne due to excessive demand and he noted that he hoped the supply of inferior French 'sparkling wine' would not impair the group's enjoyment of the forthcoming English victory over the French in the European Championships final.(CSR,UNFCCC Gazette, FU) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ UNFCCC Drama Carl Rogerson, Chief of HR, had a hard time containing his tears when back at work, on Monday 14th June. The sarcasms of many of his witty and victorious colleagues made his morning dark and contributed to his gloomy mood. Nevertheless, the bright Brit came back onto the scene of jolly fellows later at night and proved his fair-play by finally joining the Board of Cheerful Supporters of France (BCSF). He was heartily welcomed. (JEA,UNFCCC Gazette, FU) |
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